Everybody suffers from nervous feelings in high anxiety situations. This nervous energy provides us with the extra impulse we need in order to put ourselves forward, speak up and perform impressively at an interview. Some of our greatest actors are actually sick before every appearance on the stage, showing that the energy which is generated by nervous tension is crucial to giving a good performance.
When we feel nervous our bodies are reacting to the fact that the forthcoming event is important to us. We have spent time and trouble preparing and rehearsing for the interview and we are getting our response mechanism ready either to go into battle or flee. This is known as the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism. It is a throwback to the times when we had to either fight our way out of trouble or run away when faced with a threat in the wild, in order to survive. Today we need to harness our nerves to make sure we fight, or at least engage impressively with the interview, rather than panic and dry up. The trick is to make your nervous tension work for you, rather than against you. When your nerves work for you, you feel extra alive, highly conscious of everything that is happening around you, very focused on the task in hand and excited by the prospect of the performance ahead.
In any life, there will be many occasions which will bring on an attack of nerves and knowing how to control it will always come in useful. The main antidote is to concentrate on your long-term goal and let this carry you through difficult experiences. So at an interview you need to keep strongly in your mind how important it is that you speak up for yourself and give the interviewer a proper chance to get to know you. Focusing on the point of the event will give you a higher purpose that will enable you to rise above your physical feelings of nervousness. Like the actors who force themselves on to the stage because the show must go on, you can talk and impress people despite your nerves if you keep the purpose of the interview firmly in your mind.
You have been invited to this interview so that the employer can find out about you, and you are going to tell the interviewer all about yourself. If you have prepared well for the interview, you will have thought through how your experience ties in with what the employer is looking for and you will feel excited and enthusiastic about the idea of what you can contribute to the organisation.
This energy you have generated will carry you through the interview, and all the interviewer will remember about you will be your keenness and enthusiasm for the position rather than your nerves.
I once interviewed a series of people for a job requiring energy and commitment. Each one seemed competent and suitable, but none stood out, and I knew it would be difficult to select one to give the job to. At the end of the last interview, the candidate said goodbye with the words: ‘I would really love doing this job, you know.’ Her obvious enthusiasm shone through her nervousness and I offered her the job on the spot, confident that she was the best candidate. Showing enthusiasm does not mean being immature or sounding desperate to get a job. It requires a genuinely positive attitude to the challenges and opportunities that the vacancy offers.
Your nervousness does not show to other people as much as you think. I run workshops to prepare people for interviews where I make everybody do a mock interview in front of the whole group. Every single person admits to being terribly nervous, but the group is always amazed that each interviewee seems calms and collected. Nerves just do not show. We may know that our palms are sweaty, our stomachs churning and our knees knocking, but no one else will realise our predicament. Fidgeting with coins in a pocket, twiddling strands of hair, constantly touching face or mouth are just some of the ways in which we show our nervousness and we are often unaware of such habits. When an attack of nerves strikes, the energy generated often escapes in repetitive gestures or mannerisms.
No self-respecting actor would go on to the stage without adequate rehearsal time, some of it in full dress for the part. Interviews have elements of performance about them which makes them similar to acting. You should have prepared your answers as you want to have a big impact on the audience, so you must learn your ‘part’ as thoroughly as possible. Practice gives you the chance to do this as well as helping to minimise your nerves. Having rehearsal time with a friend, which involves you answering interview-style questions, can be a great help and feels very different to merely thinking about the answers in your head.
Try to make your rehearsal as realistic as you can, wearing your interview clothes if possible as this run-through will help you to feel more comfortable on the day itself. Tell your friend just to ask you some questions – you could use the sample ones in this book. If they want to give you feedback, ask them to tell you only what they think you did well and how you could make this even better – in other words, get positive feedback only.
On the day the interviewer may also be experiencing some feelings of nervousness. Many managers have little experience or skill at conducting interviews. It is still rare for interviewers to have had any training for the role, particularly in small companies. Most of these employers just muddle through, trying to use common sense in a difficult situation. Moreover, in a panel interview there may be all sorts of tension between the representative from the personnel department, the line manager and the other members of the group of which you will not be aware.
Imagine that you have been asked to interview some job candidates. How would you feel? Perhaps a little apprehensive in advance and on the shaky side when the very first candidate comes into the room? You have never met this person before. Would you be totally confident about what to say and how to handle the candidates? Interviewing is a difficult task because it is stressful to be faced with someone whom we have to talk to in some depth but do not know.
Even asking questions can be difficult for interviewers. You may think that this is a simple task but it is often the case that interviewers, through a lack of skill and experience, tend to ask questions in ways that make them difficult to answer. If you are asked a question such as: ‘Did you enjoy your time at college?’, please do not just answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’, even though that is what the question seems to be looking for. The person asking really wants to know what kind of experience you had at college, what you felt you learned there and if there was anything in particular that would be useful in the job that you are being interviewed for.
Similarly, if you are asked: ‘Tell me about your last job, what you achieved there and anything you think would be relevant experience for this job’, do not get flummoxed by the fact that this is really three questions in one. Multiple questions like this just show the questioner eagerness to hear from you; they are not intended to trip you up. Mostly they are asked because the interviewer has not prepared properly for meeting you and their own nervousness makes them phrase their questions in too complicated a way.
Relax and take each part of the question one at a time. You could answer: ‘Well, if I start by telling you about the details of the job…’ Then you can move on to: ‘I think my main achievements there were…’ You can finish with: ‘My most relevant experiences there as far as this job is concerned include…’ If you get lost in the middle, don’t feel at all worried about asking; ‘Could you just remind me what you asked in the last part of the question please?’ After all, if they ask you three questions in one, it is easy to forget some of it.
It is comforting to know that most interviewers are nervous. An interview can be a disquieting experience for the people on both sides of the table. Several employers have confessed to me how much they dread having to interview for staff as they find it very stressful. Remember this next time you attend an interview, take pity on the poor employer and concentrate on putting them at their ease. You do this by showing you are pleased to be there, happy to talk to them and interested in finding out more about the job on offer. Make sure that you visit the toilet before the interview and do not drink or take drugs to calm you down. They may give you more courage but they will also both impair your performance, and alcohol can always be smelt on the breath.
Relaxation exercises
When you are feeling at your most nervous, you are at the mercy of many different physical symptoms which can seriously derail you from performing well in your interview. However, there are several exercises that you can do to help counter the effects of fear and dread. When we are experiencing the fight or flight mechanism, the body produces adrenalin to help us act to fight or flee from the threat facing us. Adrenalin gets our pulses racing by raising our heart rate ready for action. The body cuts off oxygen from the brain and the extremities, such as the hands and feet. After all, if you are engaged in a fight or running for your life, you do not need to think great thoughts or use tiny hand gestures. All available oxygen is being channelled to our muscles, ready for the fight or the flight that is to ensue. Our hands and feet feel numb and tingly as a result and our minds go blank. We cannot hear properly, sometimes we feel we cannot even see straight and it is difficult to concentrate on what we are trying to say.
All these things are the result of the physical reactions of our body to a perceived threat, so you should not feel a failure if you feel nervous at times like this. Your churning stomach, clammy palms, sweating and confusion are rational reactions to a scary situation. However, a job interview is not a real threat; it is an opportunity, so we need to counter these reactions by taking control of what is happening to us physically. At a time like this we do not need powered-up arms and legs and a blank brain; we need the opposite – a calm body and powered-up mental faculties.
Breathing exercise
Breathing exercises are one way of managing feelings of nervousness. When we are under strain our breathing is likely to become shallow and we do not use all our lung capacity. The effect is to starve the brain of the vital oxygen it needs in order for you to think quickly and clearly. To counteract this you need to do some deeper breathing. Just before you enter the interview room, take several deep breaths. Inhale slowly, standing up if possible, breathe in through your nose and try to fill your lungs completely. See your stomach move out as you fill up with air. Hold this breath for a count of three, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Concentrate on expelling all of the air that you took in. Feel your shoulders relax and watch your stomach flatten as the air is sent out. Repeat for three or four deep breaths only. This will flood your system with oxygen which will counter the unhelpful effects of the flight or fight mechanism.
This exercise should be carried out only in a gentle and rhythmic manner. Do not take it all too far – you do not want to start hyperventilating just as you are called in to your interview! If it is impossible to get some time on your own before your interview, just sit quietly and do your three or four deep breaths in the waiting room. No-one should notice.
Anyway, the other candidates will all be too nervous on their own account to worry about what on earth you are doing. It can happen that you feel yourself drying up in the middle of the interview and you suddenly feel that you really cannot speak at all or remember your answers or even think. If this occurs, try not to panic as it does not mean that you will inevitably fail the interview. You are simply running short of oxygen and the immediate remedy is to breathe slowly until your brain re-engages. Pause and breathe deeply. Your hesitation will not seem too obvious to the interviewer if you do it confidently. After a couple of breaths you will find everything clicks into place again and you will be able to
continue.
Nerves affect everyone to some degree in interviews. I interviewed someone recently for a job working with children. He was a good candidate on paper but when we met he was unable to answer two of the questions he was asked. He just went completely blank in the interview. He asked if he could come back to these questions later. He was feeling cooler by the end of the interview and answered them adequately at that point. He was mortified though and apologised several times for being so badly affected by his nerves. He was astonished to be offered the job later, as he felt sure that he had thrown away all chance of the job through his hesitation in answering all the questions. In fact, his suitability still shone through and he was easily identifiable as the best candidate – despite his nervousness in the interview. All candidates come across with a certain degree of nerves in interviews and interviewers make allowances for this as long as you try your best to speak up about yourself.
Taking some deep breaths is a very powerful way to handle nerves in any situation whether it is at a social event, before medical treatment, during college exams or any time that you feel scared. In the middle of a recent piano exam, I found my hands shaking uncontrollably and my mind unable to concentrate on the notes. I was unable to play at all. I fought my feelings of panic, told myself to breathe and soon the shaking stopped. Slowly my mind cleared and the notes in front of me came back into focus. I started playing again and passed the exam. The examiner told me afterwards that such attacks of nerves are very common and that I had controlled mine well, not to let it wreck the exam. Even if the situation looks as if it is going badly, you can still retrieve it and do better than you think. Attacks of nerves will happen to all of us but you can stop them from ruining your chances.
Facial exercise
Smiling has another benefit as well as putting the interviewer at ease. It is also an effective way of exercising your facial muscles around the mouth. When we tense up, we take on a stony expression as the muscles contract and a frown of concentration comes over our face. To relax your face, say the vowel sounds aaaa, eeee, iiii, oooo and uuuu and as you do so, gently stretch your mouth in an exaggerated manner around the sounds. Open your mouth wide for aaaa, eeee and iiii, purse your lips tightly together for oooo and uuuu. Repeat this exercise a couple of times and your mouth will flex and get a full work-out as you do it. Finish off with a big wide grin. Make sure that you are on your own as you contort your face to do this exercise or you could seriously alarm anyone watching you!